view from a hole

Evening outside brings parties and laughter, stars and lights and jovial chatter. Watching from alone, dark seeps in bringing dragons of fears, regrets of past sin. Wings are not feather but black latex I can't fight. Dragons' breath is fire but neither warmth or light. The bottom of the well: roots and spiders invading. Can't... Continue Reading →

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an american roller coaster

When I was in the bathroom this morning, brushing my teeth and getting ready for work, I discovered this: My dear sweet wife is the only person who shares this bathroom, this drawer, and this Q-tip box with me, so there is little doubt - not even reasonable doubt - as to who left the... Continue Reading →

התקדמותו של צליין or reflections on a pilgrimage 4

Tsoro in Hausa. خوف in Arabic. Peur in French. φόβος in Greek. Miedo in Spanish. डर in Hindi. Takut in Indonesian. 恐れ in Japanese. Timor in Latin.  פַּחַד in Hebrew. ကြောက်ရွံ့သောစိတ် in Burmese. Every language knows Fear. Why? Because every culture knows fear. Every person knows fear. Fear of hunger; fear of abandonment; fear of monsters - real or imaginary... Continue Reading →

26 – monstrum

When I was a boy I had to take swimming lessons from some young lady that I'm sure was a good teacher and pleasant person, but I hated it. She would throw things to the bottom of the pool and expect my brother and me to go get them, like a baby throws down its... Continue Reading →

24 – incursus

I've brought the larger story into 2002 now, and I wonder if anyone noticed what was missing from my admittedly self-centered account. This piece of our lives didn't fit in. We said we would never forget. The nation made appeals to god. Celebrities and politicians spoke of national strength, pride and unity. We had a... Continue Reading →

Roll Permit

Aretha was a healthy black woman with a thick flat creole accent,  who had come to Conway to escape the aftermath of the Katrina disaster in the Ninth Ward of New Orleans. She and her friendly but lethal cocaine dealer and their "adopted" child had witnessed the flooding, the terror, and the bodies in the... Continue Reading →

20 – genus

I've gotten ahead of myself with that last entry, and in my effort to tell a professional story, I missed the personal. At least now I've constructed the context into which the following falls: I never really wanted to marry. Just wasn't interested. Until M. (aptus) She and I, initially, weren't interested in having kids.... Continue Reading →

19 – deja vu all over again

M and I moved to Arkansas and started over. We had only recently bought our first home in Gulfport and settled into our first real, adult jobs. Now we had relocated to the hills and had to find new jobs, new friends, new church - the whole thing. From scratch. That was intimidating, but we... Continue Reading →

18 – amicus

Disneyworld can be "the wonderful world of Disney," or it can be a gargantuan, God-forsaken, galaxy of greed and blubbering babies and their petulant parents. For the Hogues, in the fall of 1996, it was mostly good. I honestly don't remember much of the trip except that Dad seemed older than he had ever been.... Continue Reading →

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